After the Sacrifice
clings to worthless idols forfeits the grace that could be theirs.” Jonah
you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me,
you will find it.” Matthew 10:39
years ago, I had a memorable moment with Jesus. I was standing in our home looking out the window with
thoughts and feelings “waging war” inside me. I knew God had asked me
to make a change in my life. But it felt too hard to make. The “life”
I was clinging to was separating me from God. I needed to sacrifice it. Not
just cut back a little, or loosen my grip. No – sacrifice it, kill it, end it,
see it die, let it go, for good, forever. But I didn’t want to.
my tightening grip I felt God’s Holy Spirit speak to my heart. “Heidi, if
you do not let go of this, you will never know what I am capable of doing in
your life.” Tears rolled down my face as I struggled to justify my
choices, rationalize behavior, figure things out, and come up with a better
plan than having to trust God. Trusting God is hard, because I don’t know how
he is going to work. And I don’t get to give him advice on how to work.
“heartfelt” conversation continued: “Heidi, you can take care of
your life YOUR WAY, but you will always wonder what I would have done for you
in this situation. You will NOT know me more if you do this YOUR WAY.” I
wrestled in my head and heart. Do I trust God, and see if he will really show
up, or remain in control and work it out on my own? That day, my desire to know God broke my
grip. I began taking steps of obedience, to let go of “my life,” trust God to care for me, seek Jesus in the
sacrifice, and find Him faithful.
this moment with Jesus has caused me to consider what happened AFTER the sacrifice:
“love” what I sacrificed so much anymore. I loved Jesus more. Over
time, what God gave me in exchange was so much better: freedom, faith,
healing… And now I have experienced that God is who He says He is, and He
will do what He says He will do, because He did show up AFTER the sacrifice
made sacrifices and seen God faithful?
happened in your life AFTER the sacrifice?
Connors, Children & Family Ministries