The Blog I’m Not Writing…
When an unexpected infection took hold of my leg after a routine surgery this fall, I had a lot to think about. A friend of mine told me what helped him was writing a blog. I thought, no one would want to read my blog right now because it would just be filled with a lot of bad words. I wasn’t in the best place at the time.
So I started this note in my phone, “the blog I’m not writing…” I’ll probably unpack a few of those thoughts over the next year as I sign-up for a blog spot.
Here are a few thoughts from that note that came out of my experience with my leg up:
“Give me a willingness to pay any cost.” When you find yourself in a position that you did not intend for yourself and that you cannot change for any amount of your own strength, you get perspective. When we live this life of faith – cling to Jesus at our core – and yet walk around in our own strength, we are missing out. When we are shifted, for whatever reason, to see that carrying our cross means a willingness to pay any cost, everything changes.
What does “a willingness to pay any cost” look like for you?
“Don’t be so tied to time. Leave more windows open. Things don’t have to happen in a specific time.” I found myself at times figuring out when I would be walking again, when I would do this or that again, my mind was in those places already. Then when I wasn’t walking by that time, or I couldn’t do this or that, I felt discouraged. Then this little phrase cropped up – “we’ll see.” People would ask about specific times and dates, and I would say “we’ll see.” I had enough of those moments that I was forced to let go of a timetable for my healing. It gave me perspective about how I try to control time in my personal life, in my work life, in the lives of my kids. When I pray, I want the answer in my time. But we all know God’s time is so much better in the long run.
What timetable do you need to let go of?
“Are you allowing yourself to be taken care of by people? Are you allowing yourself to be taken care of by God?” Giving is often much easier than receiving. No one wants to feel like they need stuff from people, and yet, it’s one of the biggest theological truths of the Bible – that God freely gives his love to us and we in turn receive it. If we find ourselves in a rut of always giving (so that we can get that feel good serving reward) we are missing out. When we allow ourselves to receive love, receive forgiveness, receive care of others – we are giving them a gift. A big step in a child learning to communicate is when they offer something (a piece of their cheerio, a rock, a stick or paper they find on the ground) to an adult or other person. And when that adult receives this “something” they are saying – yes, I approve, welcome, connection.
Allow yourself to be loved. Receive.
KC DiNardo, Associate Pastor of Rising Generations
and Connecting Ministries